There was a panicked scream that woke me up – Niamh was crying and Ethan was perched high on the bed backing into the corner… you guessed it – there was a spider in the bedroom.
A big one. The kind that lurks in corners with intent.
And the removal of it was my responsibility – my two young kids were watching me with wide, tearful eyes.
“Mummy, do something!”
Now, what I wanted to do was scream, bolt, and hand the entire situation over to a grown-up with a cape and a flamethrower. But I was the grown-up. I was the calm, competent, fearless role model (allegedly).
So, I did what any terrified mother would do – I ran downstairs and grabbed a glass.
Heart pounding, I approached the spider like it was made of poisonous barbs.
Of course, when I got close it scurried at warp speed across the room… I took a breath, blanked my mind and approached again. I calmly placed the glass over it, slid a card underneath, and carried it – all eight twitching legs – outside – Ick!
My kids clapped like I’d just won the Olympics.
What they didn’t know was that I’d been silently repeating, “It’s just a spider. Breathe. You can’t freak out.”
Who’s been there?
And looking back on that moment recently, something clicked.
I hadn’t conquered my fear of spiders – not really. But I’d moved through the fear. I’d done the thing anyway, because someone I loved was watching and I wanted to help them dissipate THEIR fear.
So here’s what I learned:
1. We’ll often do more for the people we love than we’ll do for ourselves. That can be a powerful motivator – and it shows just how capable we already are when the stakes feel meaningful.
2. Fear grows in the mind before it shows up in reality. When we imagine the worst – spider fangs, hairy legs jumping, scuttling across the room – we create a movie in our mind that’s scarier than the actual moment.
3. Courage isn’t the absence of fear – it’s the choice to focus, breathe, and act anyway. You don’t need the fear to go away to move forward.
4. You’re more powerful than you think – especially when you shift your focus from fear to purpose.