If you’re a woman in business, there’s a good chance you’ve asked yourself one of these questions at some point:
“Am I too much?” (Too ambitious. Too visible. Too outspoken. Too confident. Too successful.)
Or perhaps the opposite question:
“Am I enough?” (Good enough. Experienced enough. Qualified enough. Interesting enough. Ready enough.)
These questions sit quietly in the background of so many decisions.
They influence whether you:
Post the video.
Launch the offer.
Raise your prices.
Speak on the stage.
Share your opinion.
Take up space.
And because they feel so familiar, most women never stop to question them.
But there’s a more powerful question available – one that can change everything…
Instead of asking: “Am I too much?”
Ask: “For whom?”
And instead of asking: “Am I enough?”
Ask: “According to whose standards?”
Pause for a moment and really sit with that.
Because when you do, something fascinating happens…
You begin to realise that many of the standards you’re trying to live up to aren’t actually yours.
The Invisible Scorecard
So many midlife women in business are carrying around an invisible scorecard – a list of expectations they never consciously chose…
Be successful, but not arrogant.
Be confident, but not intimidating.
Be visible, but don’t attract criticism.
Be ambitious, but make sure everyone feels comfortable about it.
Look youthful, but don’t try too hard.
Charge what you’re worth, but don’t appear greedy…
No wonder you’re exhausted – no matter what you do, it can feel as though you’re somehow falling short.
Fear Loves Undefined Standards
Fear thrives in uncertainty – and one of the biggest traps fear creates is convincing you that there is some perfect version of yourself you need to become before you can move forward.
You know…More polished. More confident. More knowledgeable. More ready…
But who decided that?
Who created the standard you’re measuring yourself against?
When you begin asking that question, you’ll often discover that the voice judging you isn’t actually your own – It’s a collection of old expectations…
– Past criticism.
– Societal conditioning.
– Family beliefs.
– Experiences from years ago that your brain quietly turned into rules…
And yet you’ve been living through life as though they’re facts.
The Cost of Trying to Be Acceptable
The greatest tragedy isn’t that you might be judged.
The greatest tragedy is that you spend your life editing yourself to avoid judgment…
– Holding back ideas.
– Dimming your brilliance.
– Playing smaller than your potential…
Not because you aren’t capable – but because you’re afraid of being perceived as “too much.”
Here’s what I’ve learned:
Women who change lives are often “too much” for people who are committed to staying the same.
Women who build extraordinary businesses are often “too much” for people who are uncomfortable with ambition.
Women who honour their worth are often “too much” for people who benefited from them having lower standards.
So it doesn’t mean you’re wrong.
Your New Standard
What if, instead of measuring yourself against everyone else’s expectations, you created your own?
What if the question became:
“Am I being true to who I want to become?”
Because that’s the standard that matters.
Not whether everyone approves, understands, feels comfortable…
But whether you’re honouring the woman you know you’re capable of becoming…
The woman who stops asking for permission, who trusts herself, who chooses courage over approval.
The woman who knows there is more available for her life and her business.
A Gentle Invitation
The next time you catch yourself wondering: “Am I too much?”
Pause and ask: “For whom?”
And the next time you hear: “Am I enough?”
Ask: “According to whose standards?”
You may discover that the only approval you’ve really been waiting for… is your own.
With fierce love & courage,
Claire x 💛
Want More? How about trying these on for style?
