I always remember what Richard Bandler, co-creator of NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) said: The best thing about the past is IT’S IN THE PAST!
It’s important to remember that the only moment that really exists is the present moment. Everything else – past events and thoughts of the future – exist purely in our head, so, although it may not always feel like it – we DO have control and we CAN change the way we feel.
It’s important to find a way of changing our perception (the way we look at things) in relation to events from our past that still worry, upset or hold us back, so that they no longer have a hold over us.
Whatever obstacles you have – find a way to let them go. Just STOP focusing on the images in your head that haunt you or get conscious about the words you say to yourself over and over that upset you. Just let go and purposefully think about new things, say new things or find the silver linings in those past events so that you can move forward with your life.
Changing what things ‘mean’ to you can make the difference between a happy life and an unhappy life.
2. Appreciate Your Own Qualities
What is special and unique about you? What are your positive qualities? Ask this question of yourself right now and every day.
We need to ‘own’ our qualities and give them the attention they deserve. It’s easy to focus upon our faults, but when you do – stop immediately and change your focus to think about your qualities instead. If you do this often enough, being positive will become your habit.
3. Dream Big Dreams!
Big & Exciting goals are the juice of life!….
Giant goals create giant motivation, so don’t cheat yourself of your potential by thinking small…many people try to avoid pressure, yet the absence of any tension or pressure usually creates a sense of boredom….so don’t hold back….create big, exciting visions for your life…think big and believe you can have it!
4. Know Who You Are
It’s easy to drift through life doing the things that others suggest, and feeling like you’re flat-lining through the years. The key is to TAKE BACK CONTROL. Take the time to work out who you really are, what is of value to you, what do YOU love to do? if you were living your best life, what type of person would you want to be? THEN DECIDE THE STEPS REQUIRED TO GET THERE & DEVOTE YOUR LIFE TO BECOMING IT!
5. Take Action!
If you really want to change your life, if you really want to achieve something new, if you really want to change how people see you, you caN’t just sit around and talk about it, you must DO IT!
As they say…action speaks louder than words and to be successful and happy, thinking it is only half way there – you actually have to do it!
Sounds obvious, but you’d be surprised how many people never live the lives they really want because they never change…they never make a REAL decision to do new things and then take ACTION! Positive thoughts are great, but nothing beats the enhanced feelings of success & happiness experienced from actually doing!
6. If You Have Beliefs That Are Getting in the Way – Change Them!
Identify the beliefs that are holding you back and then do what it takes to change them.
What action could you take? What could you learn to remove that fear? What new belief could you have instead to empower you to breakthrough? What help could you get?
Work out what you could you do to ensure you make it through that disempowering belief to the other side and prove that belief is a lie.
Let me tell you that you are literally capable of anything…it’s that belief….its simply what you tell yourself you can’t do, or the problems you tell yourself you have, that holds you back….so disprove the belief….decide on action and get certain you CAN do it!
It is very difficult to feel confident in the presence of people who are critical, judgemental, cynical & dominant. Their negativity creates a very cold atmosphere. On the other hand, have you noticed how confident you feel in the presence of people who are naturally warm, encouraging & supportive?
Remember we perform at our best around warm people, so make sure you have these people in your life and aim to spend time with them as often as you can!
8. Don’t Be Afraid To Fail
There are so many stories of famous people who have failed over and over before they achieved success, and it’s literally the same for all of us – we have to fail our way to success!
To succeed, you must take action until you succeed….imagine if a baby tried to walk once, fell over and then gave up…ridiculous! … but as adults, that’s exactly what we do – we fall down, then we don’t get up again … we don’t give ourselves the chance to find out that we CAN!
Successful people succeed because they produce more action and keep going until they do!
So give failure a new name. In my opinion, there is no such thing as failure – only personal growth & learning. I recommend you have that attitude too!
9. Be Yourself
You are perfect as you are. Don’t believe me? Then just remember that some people will relate, like and trust you, whatever your story, and some won’t … and it’s the same for us all!
You don’t need to worry about being inferior to others, just know that you will be! It’s OK! Everyone (yes everyone), is inferior to everyone else in some ways!….but on the other side of the coin, you’ll be superior to everybody in other ways too (it’s true).
Perhaps you have inferior wealth, but superior health, or an inferior body but superior relationships. Accept it and Expect it! We’ve each been on different paths!
And be careful about who you compare yourself to….in your eyes, one person may have more beauty or money than you, however perhaps they can’t have everything you have….maybe they can’t have children…. maybe they’re in an unloving relationship…maybe they have poor health…
So make sure you control what you compare things to in a way that empowers you….don’t be forced to judge yourself based on other people’s standards of what equals success. Let go of the expectations of others, and find your own brilliance based on your own values…
And something else (whilst we’re on the subject) Guess what?…You can’t be liked by everyone….because nobody is!…. that’s right…nobody!
But it’s not a reflection of you, it’s just the other person’s values and rules are different to yours….or maybe your niceness or attractiveness, or intelligence shows up their own perceived flaws and they find it hard to be around you….or to be nice to you….who knows? But you can’t possibly be everybody’s cup of tea!…so be ok with it….let it go! It’s the same for us all.
10. Be Grateful Every Day
Grateful people attract more to be grateful about! It’s true!
Your abilities, your situation in life, and everything else at your disposable is something to be grateful for. Focus upon what you are grateful for every day and easily create feelings of peace, happiness & success, and attract more of that into your life!